How to Approach a Loved One About Substance Abuse

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Drug and alcohol addiction feels like a vicious cycle, not just for the addict or alcoholic, but for their family members, friends, and spouse. It can feel isolating and frustrating watching your loved one’s substance abuse take over both your lives and not voicing your thoughts about their problem. How should you approach your addicted loved one about seeking residential addiction treatment?

1. Educate Yourself on Addiction

The biggest mistake loved ones of addicts or alcoholics make is approaching them without educating themselves on substance abuse and addiction. Do your research! First of all, it’s imperative that you know addiction truly is a disease and your loved one struggling with substance abuse doesn’t have control over it. Learning more about the disease will help you to understand and empathize with them during your discussion about getting help.

2. Approach Them in a Loving Manner

You probably have years of hurt, anger and resentment towards your addicted loved one bottled up which has brought you to this point. This isn’t the right time to explode on them all those feelings, no matter how frustrated with their drinking or using you feel. Getting angry could provoke them to want to drink or use more. Instead approach them in a loving manner and remember that you’re talking to them about their substance abuse because you care about them.

3. Offer Your Help

Berating or approaching your spouse in an accusatory manner will only make matters worse. When you approach your loved one struggling with substance abuse, ask them, “How can I help? Or what can I do to make getting you help easier?” This will make your loved one more receptive to your conversation and more willing to seek addiction treatment.

4. Leave the Conversation Open

Don’t expect your first time approaching your loved one to be the only conversation. Addiction is the only disease that tells you, you don’t have a problem. Your loved one may still be in the denial stage, so leave your conversation about seeking rehab open to come back to. Even if they seem rebellious towards the idea of getting help, by approaching them in the right way, you’ve planted the seed in their mind.

5. Find Your Loved One a Residential Addiction Treatment Center

When you approach your loved one about their substance abuse, you’re having the discussion with the intent to find a solution, so do your research and find a dual-diagnosis residential addiction treatment facility, like Acqua Recovery, prior to your talk with them. As you kindly let your loved one know that it’s time they seek help for their substance abuse, show them the treatment center, so they can get more of an idea of what to expect. Physically seeing Acqua’s program and beautiful campus will put their mind at ease knowing they’ll be in a sanctuary of healing while they work through the trauma fueling their addiction.

Remember that addiction is a disease but your family member, spouse, or friend struggling with substance abuse still loves you. Once they receive the continuum of treatment Acqua Recovery offers — from residential treatment, intensive outpatient, and sober living — they’ll renew their life and be able to reconnect with you. Reach out to our caring admissions team today to learn more about how to help your addicted loved one.

How to Approach a Loved One About Substance Abuse

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Dr. Daniel Pickrell

Dr. Daniel Pickrell
Medical Reviewer

Dr. Pickrell is a board-certified psychiatrist with interests in addiction and psychiatry. He strives to identify the underlying cause of substance use. His understanding of addiction as the overlapping symptoms of biopsychosocial development is the foundation to his care model. He is committed to helping both patients and families understand that addiction is a treatable medical illness. He has been involved in the treatment of addiction for the last 17 years and completed his residency training at the University of Utah.

By: Acqua Recovery

Drug and alcohol addiction feels like a vicious cycle, not just for the addict or alcoholic, but for their family members, friends, and spouse. It can feel isolating and frustrating watching your loved one’s substance abuse take over both your lives and not voicing your thoughts about their problem. How should you approach your addicted loved one about seeking residential addiction treatment?

1. Educate Yourself on Addiction

The biggest mistake loved ones of addicts or alcoholics make is approaching them without educating themselves on substance abuse and addiction. Do your research! First of all, it’s imperative that you know addiction truly is a disease and your loved one struggling with substance abuse doesn’t have control over it. Learning more about the disease will help you to understand and empathize with them during your discussion about getting help.

2. Approach Them in a Loving Manner

You probably have years of hurt, anger and resentment towards your addicted loved one bottled up which has brought you to this point. This isn’t the right time to explode on them all those feelings, no matter how frustrated with their drinking or using you feel. Getting angry could provoke them to want to drink or use more. Instead approach them in a loving manner and remember that you’re talking to them about their substance abuse because you care about them.

3. Offer Your Help

Berating or approaching your spouse in an accusatory manner will only make matters worse. When you approach your loved one struggling with substance abuse, ask them, “How can I help? Or what can I do to make getting you help easier?” This will make your loved one more receptive to your conversation and more willing to seek addiction treatment.

4. Leave the Conversation Open

Don’t expect your first time approaching your loved one to be the only conversation. Addiction is the only disease that tells you, you don’t have a problem. Your loved one may still be in the denial stage, so leave your conversation about seeking rehab open to come back to. Even if they seem rebellious towards the idea of getting help, by approaching them in the right way, you’ve planted the seed in their mind.

5. Find Your Loved One a Residential Addiction Treatment Center

When you approach your loved one about their substance abuse, you're having the discussion with the intent to find a solution, so do your research and find a dual-diagnosis residential addiction treatment facility, like Acqua Recovery, prior to your talk with them. As you kindly let your loved one know that it’s time they seek help for their substance abuse, show them the treatment center, so they can get more of an idea of what to expect. Physically seeing Acqua’s program and beautiful campus will put their mind at ease knowing they’ll be in a sanctuary of healing while they work through the trauma fueling their addiction.

Remember that addiction is a disease but your family member, spouse, or friend struggling with substance abuse still loves you. Once they receive the continuum of treatment Acqua Recovery offers — from residential treatment, intensive outpatient, and sober living — they’ll renew their life and be able to reconnect with you. Reach out to our caring admissions team today to learn more about how to help your addicted loved one.

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